1. |
GhostTape10
00:43
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2. |
Phantom Bullet
03:20
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There's a poor little bastard, who sits in his filth cluttered room and thinks
"Am I a step in God's plan or a pawn in the Devil's game?"
A bastard son, cursed to wake and see the light of another day
It's humiliating to breathe in this skin
Wiping the sleep from his eyes, disappointed that he's still breathing
Surrender the virus from his head that eats him up like syphilis
He was happy for one hour until his mother told him he was dreaming
He says "I will leave the world the same way I came in, like an accident"
Stare into the dismorphic mirror, only to see it really wasn't him
So they Traumatized him with scripture, believing it would make him clean
Dream, a man with a big head and ugly face much like himself tells him "son you're only dreaming so wake up, it isn't really me"
Tearing away, punch, kick, and scream
"No clarity, for I, my thoughts will murder me"
There's a tomb stone that shares his last name, the man sleeping there was always screaming
His genetic makeup consists of mistakes, lying, and self-pity
He had another dream that night
His eyes closed and he woke up in the same room where it happened
That same wooden table, that same ash tray, that same father, the same 9mm
He witnessed art in the making
A sullen face, a bullet, and a wall for the canvas
A blood splatter, like a symmetrical ink blot
It's like looking into a mirror of my future he thought
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3. |
symptoms.13.7.
03:02
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The controlling grip that it has on my body leaving it's mark on my skin
Making sure that I will never forget the guilt, the shame, the sin
It's like a vacuum hurricane, tearing me apart and sucking out my brain
No way to fix this, so I wallow in doubt and let the clouds form and rain
The shackles to substance fuels our primordial sustenance
Forget the memory, destroy the trauma just to let it regain relevance
It pricks my skin (the unforgiving guilt)
I wish I could've prevented everything, age and weakness stopped me
Now my worst fears, and toxins in my veins, is turning me into something I don't want to be
Relapse, memory banks close, lose control
I now only feel comfortable with the bottle and the smoke
Angels ashes, crystal ice, cold snow, blood shot eyes
I remember the needle and flower on your arm when I said "please don't close your eyes"
Fuck.....
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4. |
So Young, Too Old
03:32
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I remember the bathroom light and a body barricading the door
The ending of one's innocence, running down like tears hitting the floor
Where do we draw the line between power and lust?
Because of you I feel weak and everyone has lost my trust
I will never be the same after the violation, I was left in disarray
You prowled on me like a lion waiting to bathe itself in flesh
One decade has passed but the memory is still too fresh
Was this the moment that started it all?
The edge I stood on for so long
The moment before the jump
No catch before the fall
The forgiveness only lifted the burden for so long
And when I had it in my hands it anchored me under water, I knew it was over
Her hand, golden and aged, pulled me to shore
Lifted the weight off of my back, mended together, then it climbed back on my shoulders
I lost my grip and my mind, trying to come to terms with what happened that night
Things would be much easier if I was fucking blind
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5. |
No Skin
01:44
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Blank faces and blank stares, as they peer through the window glass
Flipping through the papers of the note I left
Square breathing, hoping for solace, all I heard was laughs
The sound of doubt crept up, so I broke my neck to watch my back
Fuck
Dropping caps of death to numb the sound. It had a leash on my neck to keep me grounded
Baptized by freaks, I'm fucking drowning
I shed my skin and waste my words
All I've done is tear myself apart, just to keep it the fuck together
It only gets worse. I only see
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6. |
No Light
02:01
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The sun's benevolence begins to set
Melancholy anchored on my chest
Your gaze, soft touch, I'm deprived of gentleness
It helps me sleep, but I never rest
Dark eyed Donna, I mistook you for a friend
Tunnel vision with no light at the end
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7. |
No Mouth
01:13
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I fight, weak (weak)
I scream, (scream) melody
Repressed (let him die)
Make it stop (stop)
Bleeding (bleeding) thoughts
I'm suppressed (here)
I think I'm dead
I have no mouth and I must scream
Extract, routed for use, torment, release me, because I'm fucking dead
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8. |
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Trouble shoot, re-boot, break through, the terminal is feeling
Cut deep, let it feel, seep out, it's capable of bleeding
Therapy, coping, rehabilitate, re-route
It's giving up, servers shut down, it's bleeding out
I can sleep but I never rest
Every step I take feels like I'm walking on broken glass
(I'm done) wasting my breath and shedding skin
(I'm done) repeating myself again
Ive been trying to get my point across but you always miss it
I can't tell if you're full of yourself or if you're just full of shit
I don't hate you
Don't make me hate you
I want to hate you
You're making me hate you
I can't see you, I see right through you, if I had no heart I'd fucking kill you, bitch
I'm sick of all of you, I'll make you sick of me
I have no mouth but I'm going to scream
I won't give you the gift of hating you, but my forgiveness is out of date
I was the open letter when you sealed your fate
You look like a deer caught in the headlights of my car, driven by fear, you'll end up on my plate
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fromjoy Houston, Texas
:):
fromjoy
away
only here
it lingers
the sound of doubt
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